TEACHER:
Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA:
Here it is!
TEACHER:
Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS:
Maria!
TEACHER:
Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK:
Because of the sign.
TEACHER:
What sign?
FRANK:
The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER:
John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:
You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER:
Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN:
K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER:
No, that's wrong
GLENN:
Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER:
Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:
H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER:
What are you talking about?
DONALD:
Yesterday you said it's H to O!
TEACHER:
Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:
Me!
TEACHER:
Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS:
Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER:
Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE:
I is...
TEACHER:
No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE:
All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER:
Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO:
Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
TEACHER:
George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS:
Because George still had the ax in his hand.
TEACHER:
Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:
No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER:
Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE:
No, teacher, it's the same dog.
TEACHER:
Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
are no longer interested?
HAROLD:
A teacher.