'Twas the night before Christmas,
and all through the shop,
The computers were whirring; they
never do stop.
The power was on and the
temperature right,
In hopes that the input would
feed back that night.
The system was ready, the program
was coded,
And memory drums had been
carefully loaded;
While adding a Christmasy glow to
the scene,
The lights on the console,
flashed red, white and green.
When out in the hall there arose
such a clatter,
The programmer ran to see what
was the matter.
Away to the hallway he flew like
a flash,
Forgetting his key in his curious
dash.
He stood in the hallway and looked
all about,
When the door slammed behind him,
and he was locked out.
Then, in the computer room what
should appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight
tiny reindeer;
And a little old man, who with
scarcely a pause,
Chuckled: "My name is Santa...the
last name is Claus."
The computer was startled,
confused by the name,
Then it buzzed as it heard the
old fellow exclaim:
"This is Dasher and Dancer and
Prancer and Vixen,
And Comet and Cupid and Donner
and Blitzen."
With all these odd names, it was
puzzled anew;
It hummed and it clanked, and a
main circuit blew.
It searched in its memory core,
trying to "think";
Then the multi-line printer went
out on the blink.
Unable to do its electronic job,
It said in a voice that was
almost a sob:
"Your eyes - how they twinkle -
your dimples so merry,
Your cheeks so like roses, your
nose like a cherry,
Your smile - all these things,
I've been programmed to know,
And at data-recall, I am more
than so-so;
But your name and your address
(computers can't lie),
Are things that I just cannot
identify.
You've a jolly old face and a
little round belly,
That shakes when you laugh like a
bowlful of jelly;
My scanners can see you, but still
I insist,
Since you're not in my program,
you cannot exist!"
Old Santa just chuckled a merry
"ho, ho",
And sat down to type out a quick
word or so.
The keyboard clack-clattered, its
sound sharp and clean,
As Santa fed this "data" to the
machine:
"Kids everywhere know me; I come
every year;
The presents I bring add to
everyone's cheer;
----------------------------------
But you won't get anything —
that's plain to see;
Too bad your programmers forgot
about me."
Then he faced the machine and
said with a shrug,
"Merry Christmas to All," as he
pulled out its plug!
(author unknown)